Finally Checking In

So....its been a itsy bit more than a year since I last posted. In that time I'd like to say I accomplished loads, got a cool job, or something else that makes it more okay to have not even thought of this in almost that long. Instead, nothing much has changed.
Just recently I quit my job of three/four years. (Long story skipped to the end - I transferred to a different store after the first year.) I also moved back in with my parents. I haven't lived at home in over three years so the adjustment period is taking longer than expected. It is worth mentioning that last time I lived here my Mom wasn't on oxygen just about 24/7 and my grandmother didn't live on the couch because she still isn't quite recovered from pneumonia. My dog is 11 now and definitely showing it.

Believe it or not the only white used to be one side of her nose, her chest, four paws, the tip of her tail, and a spot in the shape of a heart on the back of her neck. She's a bit or a dork but I love her dearly.

I've been to Florida and had a day at Universal Studios where I geeked out in Diagon Alley. (Almost cried when we first walked in. Please say I'm not alone in that?) I bought a wand and wandered about in awe of how much it looks like what was in the movies. The only downside was I was in too much awe and didn't really take it all in. So learn from me and plan two days if you go. We also went on a float trip where I saw an alligator/crocodile. I'm not sure which, I just know it was as big as the canoe and I wasn't cool with it. But no one was eaten so it ended well. 

I've kinda started writing again. When I was little I had big dreams of being a big author and my parents even paid to have a short little thing published back in elementary school. That could disappear from the planet and I would be much more comfortable. Its really bad writing, like imagine Twilight and make it worse bad. At least I have excuse that I was 11? But sometime in high school I realized it wasn't the best at writing and lost interest. Recently I've had a couple story ideas floating around and have decided I don't have to write them down for anyone other than myself so I may as well.  

I feel like that is something important to realize in life. If you enjoy doing something, it shouldn't matter if you are good at it. Keep at it, and given time you might see improvement. If not it shouldn't really matter since you had fun anyway. 

Now that I've managed to ramble to a life lesson I feel like I should wrap it up with saying that with getting back into writing, I want to start updating here more often. I have no idea what format or content will show up, expect a bit of everything  I guess. Sorry it took so long and see you again soon. 

Landmark Supreme Court Decision

Today marks an incredibly important event in U.S. history. For being a country that brags about the freedoms and liberties that are guaranteed to its citizens, it has proven time and again that it is slow to catch up to the ideas outlined in the Constitution. From slavery and the treatment of Natives from the time of the colonies to the present, women not having the right to vote until 1920, the fact the Civil Rights Act wasn't a thing until 50 years ago, all ways the government failed to uphold those ideas for a time. Even today, the struggle for equality is real. You only have to check social media to be exposed to the fact that discrimination makes the news daily.

But today, the Supreme Court made a decision that brings us all closer to the idea that "all men are created equal." In a ruling 5-4, same-sex marriage is now legal in all 50 states. I personally identify as heterosexual, Caucasian, and middle class (as average as it gets), but as a human being I feel an obligation to fight for the rights being denied to the people around me because of the fact they were born a little different. Today a battle was won, maybe someday the war will be over and discrimination will be a thing of the past. Today I am proud to be an American.

*Image borrowed from an article at http://www.cbsnews.com/news/poll-53-of-americans-support-same-sex-marriage/ *

Sometimes It's Okay

I don't know why I decided to wander into Barnes and Noble today, considering I had a whopping $22 to my name when I walked through the doors, but I'm glad I did. When I go to a book store I like to walk through the whole thing, aisle by aisle, seeing what catches my attention. This time it was a table in one of the main aisles that was devoted to books to give to graduates. Most of them were the silly inspirational junk that sits on a coffee table later in life and never is actually read by anyone. There was one that was different though, it was a journal that prompted the user to confront a fear every day.
I can only really speak for myself since I've only ever experienced life as myself, but graduation and the entire idea of life after is absolutely terrifying. In fact, a lot in my is terrifying right now, to the point I've been dealing with regular panic attacks. Most of it is stupid stuff and I know it and will have to find a better way to cope since its out of my control. The first page of this journal was just line after line for the user to list their fears. This got me thinking, there's probably a lot of other people out in the internet that are scared of the same things and feel just as isolated and unwilling to address or talk to others about them. The biggest thing I think I learned from this, is that on occasion it's okay to be scared of stupid stuff as long as you don't let it consume you and keep you from living life. I've been letting it do that lately and if sharing will help me or anyone else not do that I will call it a plus. So I made a list, ignore it and move on if you wish but I'm hoping that at least one other person will read it and feel less alone. And I promise I will come up with something other than a list to post one of these days.
In no particular order:
1. Being wrong
2. Not being liked
3. Letting people down
4. Not being successful
5. Spiders
6. Losing a family member
7. Being average
8. Forever being single
9. Living paycheck to paycheck for the rest of my life
10. Never fulfilling any of my dreams
11. Some day becoming a parent (there are people younger than me with more than one kid!!)
12. Never becoming a parent
13. Failing at anything
14. Being left behind
15. Never moving out my hometown
16. Moving out of my hometown
17. Being ridiculed
18. Being forgotten
19. Relationships
20. Wasting my anything (time, money, etc.)
21. Being stuck working retail for the rest of my life
22. Being stuck in an office job
23. Awkward situations
24. Looking stupid
25. Being a victim
Like I said, most of it is stuff that is out my control and its stupid to spend more than a few moments worrying about it but this list and a bunch more keeps me awake at night and snowball into panic attacks during the day. If it helped anyone else that's great, if not and it ends up being no one ever reads this, then at least it was a little cathartic to write the list. Maybe that process will be good for someone else as well.

22 Years of "Life" Lessons

I don't know why, but for whatever reason I started thinking about what I've actually learned in nearly 16 years of schooling and 22 years of life. It couldn't go on the list if I wasn't willing to put a loved one's life on the line for. The list was a lost shorter than I thought it would be... Here's the best of what I came up with.

1. Drama and petty people don't just magically go away after high school. They are a part of life, but the amount you have to put up with depends on the people you surround yourself with.

2. Authors don't write hidden meaning and significance to every detail.Some do to a degree, but nowhere near what any English or Literary teacher would want you to believe. Even if this is true, you still need to humor said teacher so you can pass the class.

3. Hating someone isn't worth your time and effort. Its fine to dislike someone, but accept that and try to get along when the situation can't be avoided. Anything more takes too much energy.

4. A good book can change your life. Its cliche as can be but its true. For me it was the Harry Potter series. Up until I picked up the Sorcerer's Stone my grades were just shy of mediocre and reading was a pointless and frustrating past time. After I finished it I couldn't stop and read just about anything I could get my hands on. I graduated high school with a 3.6 GPA and a 34 in the reading section on the ACT. Not bad for someone that used to hate reading.

5. Use sunscreen! If you don't care about the potential skin cancer, at least do it to avoid the sun burn. That is a pain that should be avoided at all opportunity.

6. Fitting in is for losers. If you can't be yourself around a person, they aren't worth being around. Not to mention, in this day and age you can probably find someone the same kind of weird if you look around a bit.

7. The quote, "People aren't against you, they are for themselves," is completely true. (Not sure of the origin but if someone points it out I will happily give credit!)

8. There is only one way to spell beautiful. B-e-a-UUUU-tiful.

9. A principal from back in my elementary school days created a motto that was plastered all over the school and was said daily over the announcements. Its cheesey but can't be better words to live by, "Don't have a good day, MAKE a good day." Basically, you can't rely on the world to lay happiness at your feet, you have to work for it a bit.

10. A relationship (romantic or platonic) is a two-way street. If it isn't going both ways it probably isn't worth your time and emotional investment.

11. 'Classic' does not mean its actually a good book. Having said that, it doesn't mean it isn't worth reading once.

12. Unplanned movie sequels aren't always sucky. Usually, but not always.

13. Math is NOT like riding a bike. Its been three years since my last math class and I am no longer capable of simple things without a calculator.

14. There are apparently a finite number of people who know the difference between to, too, and two, as well as there, their, and they're. I am (usually) one of them. I am not one to know the difference between its and it's however.

Do you have any lessons you know for certain about life? If so feel free to let me know in the comments!

Hello all! I thought this time around I would try something new. It's not like I have a pattern for how I do posts on here so its not like I'm deviating, but it feels new to me. I really just couldn't choose only one song to talk about this time around if I'm being honest. I spent way too much money on iTunes lately so I have several I fell in love with plus a few that have been in my library for a while and I've had on repeat this month. I've narrowed down what I've been listening to, to the five I've listened to the most.
1. All the People - Panama Wedding

It's SO GOOD! I love this song so much I can't explain. The music is upbeat and happy but the lyrics bring it back down to earth without being depressing. It's just all around fun to listen to.

2. Hear the Bells - Naomi Scott

 This is technically a pop song but I think it fits in the alternative genre just as well. Scott might sound familiar, she was on of the characters on the Disney Channel movie Lemonade Mouth. Her original music is much different though, so no worries if you don't like the typical pop sound. This song in particular keeps pulling me back with the lyrics and the full sound in the chorus.

3. Steal My Girl - Landon Austin & Megan Davies

I've written about one of Austin's originals before so he's the first repeat artist. Go him! :) This time I wanted to bring up one of his covers. The One Direction version is good and catchy, all that stuff you need for a top 40 hit, but not really my cup of tea. Austin and Davies turned it into a sweet and romantic duet that I can't help hitting repeat on.

4. What Do I Mean to You  - Jonas Brothers

I'm semi ashamed this is on the list. I was never into them for reasons that boil down to that I has fairly hipster-y about it. A couple months ago I spent hours on Youtube and somehow come across this. From what I understand it wasn't their usual style but its unbearably catchy in a weird way. Unfortunately you can't just go out and buy it, they released to their fan club only, so you have to rely on Youtube for this one.

5. Gimme Sympathy - Metric

Love this, it's been in my library for at least a year now but lately I've found that I just keep coming back to it. It's catchy and easy to sing along to but edgy enough that it doesn't get annoying when you get to the point you've heard it enough to know all the words.



I love finding new music and sharing it with my friends, and this is the perfect way to do so without annoying the people I see on a regular basis. If you liked this better than the one song at a time let me know. I feel like I should add the fact that none of the videos on here are mine. I just pick the first video that suits my needs on Youtube.

If you have any suggestions for songs leave them in a comment below!

New Year's Resolutions

Hello all! Welcome to 2015! I'm a little late but I'm still getting used to writing a 5 instead of a 4 when writing the date...Anyway, I've been thinking lately about life last year and how I could possibly change a few things to make this year that much better. So in a way I have a list of resolutions, but I prefer to call them goals. I just feel like people make resolutions and never keep them, goals sounds more doable. So here it is, 5 goals for 2015:
1. I want to write something at least once a week that isn't homework. I enjoy writing even if I don't think I'm all that good at it. Practice is the only way to improve and that's something I want more of. From that I want to end up putting something up here at least twice a month.
2. I also want to get around to reading all the books I've bought over the years and put on the shelf without reading. Reading used to be something I did every spare moment I had and lately its turned into something I do for assignments only.
3. I want to be better about budgeting my money. I'm a college student so money is tight from that, but with the way my job works I'm going to be making practically nothing for a few months. Last year I struggled through it and ended up with a fairly large credit card bill. This year I don't want to have to fall back on that. My list of things to stress about needs to shrink a little and that would be a wonderful one to at least move down the list of importance.
4. Procrastinate less, much less. I'm one of those really stupid people that puts things off until the very last minute and panics and ends up with a lackluster paper/project to hand in. Less procrastinating can only end in positive ways.
5. This is probably the weirdest thing I will ever but on something like this but, I want to sneak out of the house this year. Part of the sneaking thing is not being allowed to leave but I'm willing to ignore that. I was a boring teenager and preferred staying in on Friday nights. My parents however are full of stories of how they snuck out what they got up to. I just want to say I've done it once even if I just turn around and sneak back in. I'm weird, I know...
But here is five (fairly) simple ways I think I can make this year better than the last. Do you have any goals for this year?

Coldplay - A Sky Full of Stars - Dropwizz Remix

I usually find remixes of songs annoying. The person who put all of that time into remixing an already popular song is only trying to piggy back of its popularity and could have instead created their own music. In most cases they don't even really change the song all that much, just adding more of a bass. And while I still find that true fairly often, in this case I find this particular remix better than the original. The original is great, one of Coldplay's best probably. It has a very full sound and has the usual artistic and vague lyrics and is just generally catchy and uplifting. This remix however takes it to the next level. The vocals become more background and haunting. The melody is focused on but with synthesizers instead of piano in a way that just works.

I'm not entirely able to describe just how good this is. But to me, music is inherently difficult to describe because its so different of an experience from person to person. Give it a listen and let me know if I did it justice.